So…I was told to make a happy post, so I guess I’ll try my best to at least make one that isn’t drenched in depression.

I suppose the easiest way to ease myself back into the normalcy of updating this would be to just write one line about things I’ve been doing recently.

• Work: Still can’t complain.
• Bills: Not worried about them.
• General Health: Seems kind of silly to care.
• Friends: Come over every so often; feels good to laugh.
• D&D: My new addiction.
• Olympics: Opening ceremonies were moving to say the least; Michael Phelps is a human rocket.
• 4chan: My new secret addiction.
• Loneliness: Crushing.
• Phone: Won’t stop ringing from numbers I don’t recognize.
• Dishes: Wash them by hand every night even though there’s a dishwasher 2 feet away—seems a waste.
• Seán Cullen: A ray of comedic sunshine.
• Jack: Tears my heart out to not see him.
• Alaina: Tears my heart out not to see her.
• The guy in the mirror: Not getting any easier to look at.

I guess I didn’t do so well.

Maybe next time.

[i/o]

Not really sure how to start this, but I suppose “like a band-aid” is as good an idea as any.

I live alone now.

I’d really rather not discuss the how’s and why’s, but suffice it to say I didn’t want this. All I really wanted was to get away from that house and those people…and I guess I got that. But I wanted Alaina to come with me.

I guess she chose which was more important to her.

I’m not happy.

I spend far too much time looking out the window, or simply staring at a blank wall, sometimes wondering if they invented time machines in my life span why was I not able to go back and fix this from happening? But then I realize that either that’s not possible, they have laws for that kind of stuff in the future, or I simply died before that made that technology happen.

None very good thoughts.

Alaina is coming with Jack on Monday to bring me an air conditioner because living on the third floor is beastly, so I’m looking forward to that. I’ll get to see them again. It’s only been 2 days but it feels like forever.

Nothing is right. Everything is very quiet, very grey, and very alone. Everything in the fridge I know I’ll eat. All of the dishes that are dirty I know are mine. No one is telling me to come to bed or to brush my hair. No one asks if I want to go to Wal-Mart. No one to wonder when the last time I’ve showered or brushed my teeth was.

Luckily I don’t get good phone service out here. I don’t want any calls. I’m also disabling comments for this particular post.

I’m not sure if I’ll be coming down for Thanksgiving…but I know Alaina will…so everyone will enjoy that.

At least I still have furniture to build so I don’t go crazy with loneliness AND having nothing to do.

Maybe things will look a little better when Alaina gets here…but when she leaves it will just hurt all over again.

People get through these things, right?

Ian

Like to give a big thanks to the family for having us down there for the first time in months. While we had seen them three weeks prior, it was nice to go away from the stresses of regularity and repetition for awhile.

As per the norm, we got a buttload of fireworks, and had one hell of a time shooting them off. Jack didn’t much care for them (too loud), we almost took out some eyeballs and almost set some folks on fire, but all in all, it was as great as always.

Now, while I didn’t care for the “fly on a plane for five hours, and then sit in a car for four hours and then not be able to actually relax until five days later” aspect of it, I’m hoping that won’t happen again.

Like, ever.

But again, a big thanks to the family, and we’ll see you for Thanksgiving if not before!

[i/o]

P.S. Diablo 3 came out solely because of my logical and fact-founded letter to Blizzard three years ago.

You’re welcome.

Just thought I’d toss up two new ones I did last night.

I was feeling particularly broody after Alaina and Jack headed up to Maine for the weekend, so I thought I’d see if I could tap into that a little.

I’m not sure if it worked or not, but I’m pretty happy with the results, especially number 2. Number 1 may have been a warmup, but I still think it has its place.

So put on Thriller or the Monster Mash, and get down with these two creepy pieces.

[i/o]

So, today, Alaina was out tending to some flowers (she has inherited a green thumb, apparently), and I was giving Jack his dinner. I was slowly walking around the room, and he began to make a little noise that seems to mean “I’m done drinking for the moment, just burp me and then we can start again”.

So I popped the bottle out of his mouth and hoisted him over my shoulder and began patting him soundly.

He gave a juicy burp, and then was silent. What happened next might have been a combination of gas and my patting, or…something else, but all I know is what I heard.

Da-da.

I froze and looked at him, and he just kind of goggled back at me.

Of course he couldn’t know. Could he?

I resumed my burping, and was more than overjoyed to tell Alaina when she came back in.

And now I’m telling you.

Because why? Because April Fool’s.

…What?

What’s that?

It’s May 1st? Oh.

Uhm, my apologies, you must be quite sore…I hope you can forgive me. Perhaps I’ll save that trick for next year.

[i/o]

Well, sorry folks for the bit of an absence in posts, but I seem to have been soaking up a lot of things recently.

I’ve been relishing the return of my TV, and am currently watching Les Stroud survive the Kalahari Desert. The crisp colors! The large size! It’s almost too much to bear.

In a kind of conjunction with that, I’ve also gotten myself hooked on Bioshock. The creepy “sea reclaiming its territory” ambience is well done, the water effects are stellar, and the late 1950’s environs are captured without flaw. Music from gramophones are warbled and cracked, weapons feel heavy and perfectly fitting for the era, and the dialog is as numerous as it is well done.

And of course, I’ve also been trying to soak up the age Jack is currently at. They say that you blink, and they’re leaving to go to college (or something similar), and it would seem as though time has sped up some since his birth. He’s already going to be two weeks old tomorrow, and at his appointment today the pediatrician said he was exhibiting traits of a 4-month old.

They were also surprised that he was already holding his head up…so maybe he’s a developmental wunderkind?

Time will tell I suppose.

[i/o]

I’m not sure why I picked that title, but I think it works.

You know, growing child and all.

Anyway, this is the first post after the birth of the baby, so I thought I’d direct you all over to Alaina’s site, specifically to a certain post.

You’re going to see some pretty cool pictures, including me in some bitchin’ scrubs.

Oh, and just in case you’re wondering, I stuck my tongue out in that picture because he was sticking his out a moment earlier, so I thought that maybe we would do it at the same time. Oh well.

I’m kind of partial to the last picture, simply because of how you can really tell that Alaina finally got what she’s been wanting for years.

Oh, and new podcast this week, probably Friday, so…look forward to that.

Also, I’d like to extend a hearty thanks to the entire staff of the St. Joseph’s Medical Center for their tact, efficiency, and bedside manor. Everyone was very mature as well as humorous, when it was called for.

I’d like to extend a fervent no thanks to Alaina’s sister Brittany who 1: Wouldn’t stop taking pictures of stupid superfluous crap; 2: Wouldn’t shut the hell up about how she was going to sue everyone in the hospital if everything wasn’t just perfect (as though it was her problem or even her pregnancy); 3: Wouldn’t stop disagreeing and being argumentative about every little matter.

Who cares what you read two years ago about breast-feeding? Who cares what your thoughts are on middle names, water-births, or circumcisions? Who cares that you want a dumb little blanket you got for a dollar in the checkout lane to be his favorite blanket? No one. That’s who.

If he’s picking a favorite anything, it’ll be by his own choice, not because we shove your crappy gift down his throat.

Sorry for the angry rant, but I’ve gotten so fed up with her crappy sisters lately. I’m so thankful I have the good one.

[i/o]